Sass Not Optional

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Potty Training Boys

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The Struggle is Real

I’m struggling guys. Where do we find the balance of letting our children become independent and restricting them for the sake of having to clean less? LOL! I’m especially talking about potty training boys – where’s the balance in that?!

Xavier is nearing 5 and has recently decided it’s time to stand while going potty…let’s be honest though, that harebrained idea came up with Daddy’s help. And I’ll tell you why – Daddy thinks it’s time for him to be a big boy. You know what I think – What a stupid idea! I’m already at max capacity for cleaning the bathroom since this nonsense started 3 weeks ago. I mean, he’s been standing outside since potty training but never inside – why fix what isn’t broken?! I’ll let him go outside all day long to his heart’s content…but inside? Please no. Please make it all stop.

I realize he needs to find his independence and learn to do all those “big boy” things, but does it really have to come with more cleaning for ME?! Yes, my husband cleans, so the household cleaning isn’t fully on me, but he’s yet to be home OR awake during any of these incidences. Coincidence? I think not. Well played, Mr. Chapman. Well played.

Oops…

Want to know my favorite thing to hear from the living room while Xavier’s going potty? “Oops”. I hope you can *feel* the sarcasm because you already know what that means before I even tell you what happened. Urine everywhere. In all the places. I go in to check and he has a corner of a piece of toilet paper that’s not even the size of his hand, and he’s going to start cleaning it. First off, bless his sweet little heart for not wanting to give me a mess, BUT NO! LOL

I’ve cleaned the bathroom toilets and floors more time this week than I have in the last few months, and I clean those things pretty much every other week. So…yeah, not impressed.

The Sleep Walking

Oh, so you didn’t think it could get any better? How about the fact that my child sleepwalks at night? I’ve made a pretty strict rule of him having to sit when it’s nighttime because his sensitive little eyes can’t take the light. The rule is if the light is off, you sit…He has yet to appreciate this rule and continuously tries to negotiate is way out of it. He’s a big boy and all, he can’t backtrack!

So the other night, he was sleep walking, per usual, and I sent him to go potty before getting into my bed. From bed, I turned on my phone to light up the bathroom and waited in bed. Why should I have to fully wake up? It’s not like have to go!

I hear him whimpering and all that jazz, and he finally comes out after the most ridiculous bathroom episode. I get his jimmies all zipped up and he climbs into bed. Well now I’m awake and I have to go! Damn it!

Make it Stop

I turned on the light when I went into the bathroom because I had a bad feeling, and boy was that intuition right. I should have gotten out of bed from the get go. THERE WAS PEE EVERYWHERE. On the floor, on the wall, on the toilet, and almost on my freaking foot!

So my independent big boy was standing to go despite my rule (screw my rules, anyway, right? I mean they’re not in place for any reason except to annoy him), and was pretty much swaying in his sleepy state.

So.Much.Pee. Please tell me, how in the hell do I make this nonsense stop? I’ve heard from others this doesn’t end for a long time and I’m choosing to believe my friends are just being mean. They’re being a bunch of lying liars…right? RIGHT?!

Potty training doesn’t last indefinitely, or does it? Tell me it’s not so! How do you find balance with this whole independence nonsense without breaking spirits or cleaning constantly?? Comment here to let me know your thoughts and approaches on this! Head on over to my group to hangout with me!

7 Tips to Balancing Being Mom and Working From Home

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The WAH/SAH Juggling Act

Finding balance is difficult to find when working from home, or at least it feels that way when you first start out. Your new business is budding and needs all the love and attention it can get, but so are your children – something’s gotta give and you don’t want it to be either!

For me, the realization you pay for everything in either time or money resonated loudly. Talk about a lightbulb moment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a hot mess and have some work to do, but overall, I’m finding it and here’s how!

Here are my 7 Tips to Balancing Being a Mom and Working From Home.

Steps to Balancing

1. Is there a service you can use to do some/all of a requirement for you? For me, this is Shop the Roe and Vizzlie!

2. Childcare – I have someone come to my home 1-2 times a week for about 5-6 hours at a time, and I work uninterrupted. I found all of my sitters on Care.com

3. Set a schedule and stick to it. I typically photograph for an hour or so while my sitter is here. Online parties on Thursday, in home parties on Friday and my weekly VIP on Saturday. Invoicing is done the day of and day after my online sales, and hit the post office on Monday and Friday each week. Stray from the schedule IF time permits! Shop the Box and random outfit sales are great!

4. Have a friend over to help you once a week, or whenever you need it!

5. My kids know if I have it planned to go live, they get to watch a movie – it’s the only time during the day they get to watch it and it typically only happens once a week.

6. Sometimes you just have to push all of that aside and just play with your kiddos – All of that nonsense will still be there when you’re finished playing.

7. Be kind to yourself and allow for your process to steadily evolve. Your kiddos love you and you love your kiddos, an hour here or there of them not getting your undivided attention will not kill them.

It’s That Easy?

Ha! Wouldn’t that be nice?! It’s all a process – just roll with it and have fun! If you ever stop having fun, step back and take a look at the situation. What can you change? There’s always a solution, you just have to keep an open mind and look for it.

Don’t forget to follow me HERE to keep up with my ever changing schedule, as life of mom and business owner is one that’s constantly evolving!

My Life as a Duck

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I’m a Duck

I was discussing branding with my TEAM recently and I revealed to them my spirit animal is a duck. They all laughed at me because who on earth picks a duck when there are so many cool animals out there, but it’s so true! I do wish I related to something far more gracious, beautiful or strong, but no, I’m a duck. I’m a duck and I’m owning it.

Have you ever noticed how serene a duck appears above water? They’re graceful and calm. Under that water though, they’re moving their feet like crazy to tread water and stay afloat. This is my life as a duck. My outer shell is a serene duck and my brain are those crazy ass feet. Ha!

Things Are Not Aways What They Appear

I’m the go-to person. The doer. The listener. The problem-solver. A voice of reason. It never seems to matter what the topic is or how long I’ve known the person, I’m always sought out. That’s not a bad thing at all and I love helping others – I’m a hardcore humanist and helping others is what fuels my soul. But sometimes this duck needs help, too.

People come to me because they think I have my shit together…if they only knew! I’m a damn hot mess! My mind is constantly racing, I get so lost in thought about all the things I need to do that sometimes I spend countless hours awake, only for those lists leave me feeling so overwhelmed I opt to do nothing instead.

Owning My Duck Status

I know this about myself and it’s something I work on daily, and I’m more vocal about, but it has taken a lot of self-reflection, work and even more courage to admit it.

I feel like motherhood has brought this out of me so much more even though I’ve always been this way. We as mothers feel we need to take on the world and are inadequate if we need help. That we’re failing by voicing our needs – what a stupid mindset!

I choose to celebrate this about myself instead of hiding it. I’m not out judging other moms and women because I know there is no right way of doing things, and I work hard to remind those close to me of that as well – I tell everyone to be kind to themselves daily, yet here I am being my biggest critic. It’s gotta stop. We need to be kind to ourselves just as much as we need to be kind to others – probably more, if I’m being honest. You can only give so much when your own bucket is empty.

What’s your spirit animal? Find me on Facebook and let me know!

A Day in The Life – What the fuck?

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A Day in The Life

Mr. Fun Suck and I were walking through Home Depot recently with Scarlett and Xavier. You best better believe we had one of those insanely annoying, I mean amazing, double steering wheel shopping carts for this quick outing. You know, the ones that are supposed to make everything so much easier for parents because they magically keep your children happy, yet all the while you’re running into crap…Yes, that amazing cart. Oh and the magical happiness? It only lasts for roughly 47 seconds before one drops something and the other tries to take the other child’s steering wheel. Thanks for that, Home Depot.

Anyway, as we’re walking along, we paused to look at something random. I heard Xavier quietly say something in a confused tone, followed by him motioning to something up high on the wall and then him shaking his head.

…Did I Hear Correctly?

Me – What did you say? I didn’t hear you.
Xavier – Oh nothing.
Me – No really, I didn’t hear you and I want to know what you were telling me.
Xavier – *motions up to the wall display* Toilets…on the wall..What the fuck? *all while shaking his head in disbelief*
Mr. Fun Suck – What did he say?
Me – Can you say that again? Daddy didn’t hear you.
Xavier – *story stated the exact same way for the third time*
Me – I quickly whispered “That’s on you, that’s a Daddy fail” and walked away before Xavier saw me laughing.

Yep, What The Fuck

Apparently, Mr. Xavier was listening to Daddy work in the garage. And it appears as if my husband is often perplexed while in there because Xavier ONLY says ‘what the fuck’ when he’s confused about something. It’s said out of complete disbelief and a quick little head shake. Like when my husband was hiding in the closet behind clothes and Xavier was certain he was in there, but couldn’t find him. Or when he saw a mark on the floor.

As far as Xavier is concerned, you can’t say this word until you’re as tall as Daddy is. You see, he needs something concrete like that because he’s a very practical child and a crazy realist. The dry humor at times is unbelievable. So he’s not allowed to say that word until he’s as tall as Daddy because saying when he’s big isn’t concrete enough…because he is big…He’s bigger than Scarlett. And soon enough, he’ll also be bigger than me. So for now, Xavier can’t say ‘what the fuck’ until he’s as tall as his father, which is a good 3 feet considering his father is 6’. Here’s to hoping we don’t have to deal with that again for a little while since my concrete little guy is also a rule follower. Hahaha. Sometimes that works in my favor, other times, not so much. LOL

Raising children is hard, how do you redirect your children when they repeat things they shouldn’t? I want to laugh at everything, as does my husband. How do you keep a straight face?! Find me on Facebook and tell me your best stories and ways for managing!

Strong Willed Daughters

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Scarlett the Sassafras

Raising strong willed daughters is not for the faint of heart. My sweet Scarlett is 2.5, insanely verbal and quick-witted! Seriously, it’s nuts and we often can’t keep up with her. Our children are quite fluent in sarcasm because that’s how we roll in this household. Xavier is 4 and gets it but he doesn’t know how to use it quite yet. Scarlett is getting her footing on it early, and we’re scared! We’ve got some growing pains in store for all of us, but it also makes us happy to see. Raising strong willed daughters is not for the faint of heart.

The Incident

Dinner has become super annoying in our house as of late, and Scarlett often goes to bed without her evening snack and tears are shed. It’s a pitiful scene, yet the same one night after night because she’s stubborn as hell.

Me – You need to finish your dinner so you can have your snack tonight.
Scarlett – *shakes head but doesn’t take another bite*
Mr. Fun Suck – Scarlett, you need to eat.
Scarlett – *stone faced* You butt out.
Mr. Fun Suck – Say that again and you’re going to bed.
Scarlett – *brief pause followed by a look of satisfaction* You just never mind.
Mr. Fun Suck – How am I being outsmarted by a 2 year old?!

To Laugh or Not To Laugh?

Yep, I laughed. He laughed. I’m pretty sure I cried a little because I was laughing so hard. How do we stifle that strong-willed beast while not breaking her spirit? She’s such a great little girl and very respectful, but she’s sassy and sarcastic…already, and we are in trouble!

The approach I use most often is one of not paying attention or walking away. Sometimes it’s best to say nothing than to let them see you laugh. Kind of like when Xavier was in the habit of saying “what the fuck” because Daddy Says it. Yeah, major dad fail and I totally let him handle that one on his own.

How do you reign in the sassiness while not simultaneously breaking such a strong spirt? Find me on Facebook to let me know who you navigate this crazy thing called parenting.

Vendor Events and Positive Mindset

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Vendor Events

I did a vendor event recently that didn’t turn out at all as planned and there was almost zero traffic to our outdoor market. I spent almost 2hours loading up, packing the kids entire meals for the day, remembering toys, tablets and Scarlett’s potty. Only 3 vendors besidesthe organizer showed up and it cost $40. I felt I had spent so much time working to get ready for it and was going to end up without any sales. One vendor cut her losses and left 3 hours in but I chose to stay. I stayed because I committed. I stayed because someone local reached out to me to cover for her, in addition to 3 other dates. It wasn’t only my reputation on the line, it was hers as well, and my word is my word. This is why crappy vendor events and positive mindset go hand in hand.

Vendor Event

Positive Mindset is Everything

You know what happened? I introduced almost a dozen women to LuLaRoe that had never seen it or heard of it, I met two women who are very much people I’d consider my tribe based off of how we clicked, and booked an in home with a woman who has also decidedto adopt me – LOL.
The sales weren’t stellar but sometimes it’s more about the experience than the sales, and you have to remember that. Was it easy to start? No. But mindset is everything and so very powerful. I chose to participate, I chose to stay and I chose to have fun. And you know what? It worked.

At the end, the organizer thanked me and said my fee was waived. She thanked me for sticking it out, and also gave me the sweetest compliment. She watched me interact with the shoppers, and said I was really good at what I do. You know what? I am good at this! This shit is hard but I’m really good at this. You know what makes me do even better? Throwing that negativity aside and just going for it. It’s not all sunshine, rainbows and glitter farts, but it is fun and it’s serving an incredible purpose in my life at this time.

Get Those Big Girl Undies On

It’s okay to get pissy about a situation – take that brief moment to wallow or whatever. But then you need to get your big girl undies on and handle it. Handle it because you CHOOSE to and handle it with a smile. People love smiles and those bad boys are just as free as they are contagious. And most importantly, remember your WHY.

Side note…thank heavens for Scarlett’s tiny potty and a covered truck bed because the doors were left locked to the building by accident, and this chick needed it. Just keeping it real! There’s a silver lining everywhere, you just have to look for it sometimes.

How do you keep your mindset in check? Leave a comment or connect with me on Facebook to let me know!!