Children

Top 5 Essential Oil Blends For The Cold and Flu Season

October 13, 2018 By crystal chapman Leave a Comment

Cold Season Has Arrived

Ugh, cold season…it’s back. It’s October and children have been back in school for at least a month now. We all know what that means, we’re rapidly approaching prime cold season because kids love to share. Through my experience of using essential oils, these are some of my most tried and true essential oil recipes. In hopes of saving your home from that dreaded first sniffle or being taken down with the plague, I’m going to share some of my favorite essential oil blends.

In my opinion, these are the top 5 essential oil blends for the cold and flu season.

Simple Morning Blend

The Simple Morning Blend will help energize and get your immune system ready for battle. It’s perfect to diffuse as you’re getting ready for your day!

Immunity Bomb

The Immunity Bomb is a great essential oil blend to use as a preventative measure. It also helps battle cold symptoms. You can roll this blend on the bottom of your feet nightly for preventative care. I like to use this oil blend in the same manner every 2 hours when trying to combat a cold.

Immunity Stimulator

To help stimulate your immune system into action, diffuse the immunity stimulator when you get home from school or work.

Breathe Easy

Feeling a little congested or like it’s a little tighter to breathe? Breathe Easy will open things right up for you.

Nighttime Diffuser Blend

To help give your immune system a boost while you sleep, diffuse the Nighttime Diffuser Blend at bedtime.

Ready To Take On Cold and Flu Season?

I hope you’re feeling better equipped for cold and flu season! If you want to learn more, join me over in a group I love to hang out in! Tiffany is an excellent source of oil information, and you can find her at The School of Aroma Ace on Facebook. Do you have a favorite essential oil blend for the cold and flu season? I’d love for you to join our community, Sass Not Optional – Featuring Paisley Raye, and share your personal favorites as well!!

*I am not a medical provider and you should always consult with your healthcare provider with any questions.

Family Rule: We Take Care of Each Other

August 8, 2018 By crystal chapman 3 Comments

A Family Rule

I work hard to teach my children to be kind and to take care of one another. It’s our number one family rule. They are almost 4 and 6, and know it’s their job to always make sure the other is okay. We take care of each other because that’s what family does. But it goes further than that. If you see someone hurt, you always run for help. You don’t ask questions, you don’t worry about who it is, you just run and get help, because that’s what we do.

It’s important to instill this value into children young because they are our future, and we need to be teaching kindness and compassion. Our world isn’t always pretty and to see a change, you need to be part of the change. Things like using manners, holding doors and being aware enough to include others are seeming like a lost art. Our children deserve to see those things role modeled for them. After all, when you know better, you do better. And my goal is for my children to always do better.

And Then it Happened

Earlier this week, I was at a vendor event with my two children that took place outdoors and backed up against a fenced in school playground – glorious, right? Before sending them off to play, I said “Xavier, take care of your sister. Scarlett, take care of your brother. Go have fun!”

It was amazing. The sun was shining and I was able to do my thing while knowing my children were safe and having fun….until I heard that dreaded sound of my daughter screaming. I wasn’t even looking and couldn’t see who the child was, but I knew. I knew that was the sound of my child, and more specifically, I knew it was my daughter. As I started to run, I saw my son racing towards me. I didn’t stop to ask what happened, I just ran by him. But it didn’t matter because he followed our family rule and all I needed to see was him running towards me to solidify something was wrong.

My baby girl’s knee was stuck in between two metal bars and I couldn’t get it out. Just as I started to panic because her screams were only getting louder and she was crying hysterically, I noticed there were at least 4 other adults that instinctively followed behind me the second they saw me start to run. The instant relief I felt when I saw others were there to help without me having to ask is indescribable. Thankfully, a man was able to pull on the metal bar just enough for me to pull her knee out and she wasn’t seriously injured. I am so thankful I wasn’t alone because I don’t know how I would have done it.

A Heartfelt Lesson Learned

I cannot begin to count the number of times I’ve ran to help someone else. Because that’s what we do. It’s what I was taught and what my husband was taught. You always help. But thankfully, I’ve never been in need of being on the receiving end of that help. Our society is fast and ever moving. We’re always late and have forty things left on our to-do list, and sometimes manners and small courtesies are left by the wayside. But you know what? When it matters and someone is in need, those same people will move and help.

If I learned anything from this experience, it’s that we are never alone. It might feel like you’re surrounded by people with zero manners or awareness to those around them, but people are good, and they will help when you need it. I learned far more homes teach these same values to their children and if we look beyond the news, you’ll see the good outweighs the bad.

To the man (Davy) that rescued my daughter – thank you again. But also thank you for proving this isn’t a life lesson that’s only being taught in my home. Thank you for showing your growing family that you always have compassion for others and you run for help when someone is in need. After my daughter had calmed, we walked over to the man to thank him. His response was “when you see a mama running, you follow her and don’t ask questions.” It’s not just mama’s thought. It goes further than that. If you see someone hurt, you always run for help. You don’t ask questions, you don’t worry about who it is, you just run for help, because that’s what we do.

Do You Have Family Rules?

I’d love to hear what your family rules are! Every opportunity to learn how others do things is a learning opportunity, and I enjoy bringing new thoughts to our home. Please comment here or hop on over to my Facebook community and share your thoughts! If you’d like to learn more about our new friends, you can find Davy and his wife, Toi at Fittastic Bodies.

My Baby Girl is 3

October 12, 2017 By crystal chapman 1 Comment

Another Year Older

My baby girl is 3 today. I’ve been super emotional about this all week long and I’m just not sure why. Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t really have a baby anymore, and we won’t be having another. As bizarre as it is, I don’t have baby fever for another baby, I have baby fever for MY babies to be tiny again. I want to relive those days again or at least make them last longer.

I can’t help but get caught up in reminiscing about how Xavier was Scarlett’s age when we finally moved back to Alaska. How is it possible she’s as big as he was at that time?! He was running around turning on lights, opening doors and basically raising hell, and now she’s on his tail…or leading the way. Haha

Scarlett is beginning to play with all of the toys Xavier treasured at this age, and the floodgates of memories can get overwhelming at times. It makes my heart happy to see this silly little puzzle getting new love again.

I can still hear Xavier saying “A house? For me?! Oh thank you!!” during our first walk through of our home. It’s pretty surreal my baby that was only 14 months at the time and still preferring to crawl or be carried half the time, is now capable of so much. My baby girl is 3 today, and while I absolutely adore watching her learn and grow, she’s breaking my heart.

A Night and Day Difference

Having Scarlett was extremely healing for my heart and soul. My birth experience with Xavier was very hard for me and I’ll still cry thinking back to it because I don’t remember the first several hours of his life. Exhaustion doesn’t even begin to describe it and it was nothing that I wanted. I didn’t get to experience the birth I wanted, didn’t bathe him and didn’t hold him or have skin to skin when he was born.

The one thing I do remember from his birth was my husband telling me “Xavier Joseph is here” and that’s how I found out we had a little boy. That’s the one thing besides our baby obviously being healthy that went the way I wanted. I wanted my husband to be the one to tell me, and he did. Another thing I remember is my husband sitting next to me holding him while they fixed me up. I touched his face, gave him a kiss and fell asleep. But that’s all I remember until waking up in the recovery room.

My husband went through all of the photos on his phone and told me step by step everything that happened during the time I missed. He must have told me the same story in full at least 20 times, and I cried each time. Scarlett though, I remember it all. It was such a healing feeling to know I was present mentally for all of her birth, and I’m incredibly thankful for that.

Miss Scarlett’s Arrival

Scarlett’s birth was a planned repeat cesarean and couldn’t have been more different. I remember asking my doctor if we could have her on Sunday, October 12th because Xavier’s birthday was on the 12th – and I mean, one on 12/12/12 (unplanned) and the other on 10/12/14 is pretty darn cool! He let us schedule a cesarean on a Sunday morning during football season – the sacrifice! Hahaha!! I also asked if my husband could take some photos of our baby’s birth and all he asked for was a model release. LOL!

As I walked back to the operating room, I was a crying fool. I was so emotional about everything to come and totally terrified about having surgery. I’d had that surgery before and it sucked. Bad. While sitting on the edge of the bed getting the spinal blocked placed, I remember the nurse hugging me. Granted, she was there to hold me still but she was hugging me. Like for real hugging me and telling me it’d all be okay. I couldn’t help but melt into her arms.

After the spinal was placed, I kind of lost it and was borderline hysterical just wanting my husband with me. The anesthesiologist was wiping my tears and holding my hand. He kept telling me “your husband will be here soon and then your baby”, and it honestly made such a difference to hear so much kindness. Everyone was nice to me during Xavier’s birth but these people were different. They were being genuinely kind to me.

While still waiting for my husband to be brought back, I heard my doctor come in but couldn’t see him because of the curtain being up already. I heard him say “we’re going to have a baby today! I feel so honored to be here!” He wasn’t saying that to me or to anyone in general, he was just saying it because he meant it. I could feel it. He meant it and I felt such a huge sigh of relief at that point.

It’s a Girl!

Scarlett was nameless at birth because we were team green and couldn’t agree on a girl name! We went to the hospital with only a boy name agreed upon and two potential girl names. It was an overwhelming experience when my husband told me our baby was a girl. All I could think was “my Scarlett’s here” even though she wasn’t named yet. I have a baby girl. She went nameless for another 24 hours but I did in fact win…if you can’t tell. LOL!

I got to hold her on my chest and have photos of her birth. A nurse overheard me coaching my husband about just taking pictures and not looking because he passes out from blood. She was all “how about I take those photos and keep daddy feeling good?” Hahaha! She got the most amazing photos of Scarlett’s birth. I had never felt like Xavier’s entrance was beautiful because society is always so fixated on birth being “natural” because apparently having a baby extracted from your body in order to guarantee their health is not natural or beautiful. But it was beautiful and perfect.

In the recovery room, the nurse that photographed her birth stopped what she as doing when she saw my husband having a sweet moment with our baby girl, and took a few more photos. Like, who has to do that?

A Healing Experience

Motherhood has been healing for me all the way around. Childhood was a series of lessons in what I didn’t want to be as a mother and I was hyper focused on all the ways I could fail while pregnant. The fears didn’t get easier with Scarlett’s pregnancy, they actually got harder for me. I feared I’d have a favorite, wouldn’t be able to love two children, that Xavier would feel forgotten because that’s what happened to me. Part of me longed to have another boy because I know the special bond I have with my sister since we’re less than 18 months apart, but I also wanted a girl.

Scarlett has given me that positive mother-daughter relationship for the first true time in my life. She doesn’t know how much she has healed my heart and I hope she never understands because if she does, that means I will have failed. She’ll hopefully never understand despite knowing my story, but maybe she’ll appreciate how it impacted hers for the better.

It excites me to think of all the things for us to do on our journey together as mother and daughter, and I’m excited to get to be on it with her. She’s my perfect girl.

They’ve Given Me More

My son made me a mother and it’s something I always dreamed about and longed for. Despite wanting it so badly, motherhood was something I feared because of the potential to fail. He has made me realize someone else’s struggles and failures don’t mean I’m going to fail. I’ll struggle because we all do, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to fail. My daughter gave me a healthy and positive mother-daughter bond. Jealously is a hard feeling to fight as a child watching others have what you want. It’s hard seeing what you want and knowing you can’t have it because yours isn’t capable. Forgiveness is hard at that age…or any.

Becoming a mother has changed me so much for the better. I’ve struggled at times with who I am and my identity as an individual, but not a day goes by that I am not thankful for the fact that I am their mother. Navigating this life as mom isn’t an easy one but so unbelievably worth it.

My Baby Girl is 3

So on this day 3 years ago at 10:13 am (it really couldn’t have been 10:12? LOL), my sweet and sassy little princess entered the world. My goodness, she’s so perfect and I hope she always knows it. I rocked her to sleep for the last time as a 2 year old last night, and tonight I’ll rock her to sleep for the first time as a 3 year old. So very bittersweet but the adventure we’re on together is what makes my life as amazing as it is.

One special thing I do with them on their birthday, is sing Happy Birthday to them all by myself. I hold them in the quiet of the night if they wake after midnight, or in the early morning, and sing to them. It’s our special time and I treasure it. I hope we get those quiet mornings for years to come before either of them think it’s silly.

One of our first traditions all started with a silhouette photo I wanted while pregnant, and we’ve taken one every year since. I look forward to watching this collection grow and continuing to create new traditions.

Happy Birthday to my sweet girl.

Raising a Confident Child

September 26, 2017 By crystal chapman 1 Comment

A Private Exchange in Public

As parents, how do we know we are raising a confident child? How do we help them grow without unknowingly pushing our own issues or insecurities onto them? My children are nearing 3 and 5, and it already feels like a constant struggle.

I was taking some time to myself recently and enjoying some coffee in quiet at Starbucks. While sitting there, I watched the strangest yet incredibly captivating interaction between a couple in line. For whatever reason, salsa music was playing in the cafe and while I noticed it, I didn’t give it much thought. That is until I saw the woman waiting in line. She began dancing in place very subtly, yet still very noticeably (if that makes sense! LOL). She was dancing in place just staring at the man she was with, and he was looking straight into her eyes with a big smile. I couldn’t help but wonder – are they are new couple, still in that honeymoon phase where everything the other one does is amazing? Maybe. I did catch a glimpse at their hands…because I’m nosey, and they were in fact married. I’m going to assume it was to each other. Ha!

She danced for this entire song and playfully put his hand on her waist so he could “dance” with her. She wanted him to feel her movements. I could tell watching she knew he wasn’t going to dance with her but she wanted him to feel her rhythm. My question is this – how in the hell does someone have the confidence to do that?! Not only in public…but in Starbucks and not anywhere that dancing takes place on a regular basis. Maybe she’s a dance teacher or enthusiast? Maybe she just likes to dance? There could be a million possible answers to that question and it’s a question I’ll never know the answer to. I know…deep thoughts by Crystal. Ha! It left me wondering if there’s some magic answer for raising a confident child.

Realist vs Dreamer

It did leave me wondering – how do you develop it and even more importantly, how do you keep it as you grow? I don’t remember a time where I was that carefree and felt so confident in myself that I didn’t care who was watching. I’m sure I did because I see photos from when I was a child, but let’s be honest, most of my photos are of me with a sassy expression. I don’t remember being that day dreamy child with not a care in the world. I’m sure part of that has to do with my childhood and the fact that I was a big sister to two siblings that relied on me.

I’m certain my role as big sister needing to look after my younger siblings forced me to grow up faster, but it still wasn’t something I was ever able to let go of even once things were different. Those early days molded me and I’m such a practical person because of it. Very full of realism. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an eternal optimist, but I’m a realist and I have a lot of doubt in those around me. Being a dreamer isn’t practical since you have to be a doer in order to get anything done.

I’m not that person who trusts easily even though I make friends incredibly easily. Is that why I can’t comprehend what I witnessed in Starbucks? Is that why I can’t relate to someone so freely expressing themselves for everyone around them to see? Quite honestly, this blog is so damn hard for me because I’m finding myself sharing things I don’t typically share. Is it a confidence from being behind the computer and knowing I won’t meet most who will ever read this…assuming (and hoping!!) people do in fact read it?

Confidence…A Learned Behavior?

I’ve thought a lot about confidence and if it’s a learned behavior, and I’m just not sure. I mean, in a way it is, but I actually think LACK of confidence is the learned behavior. At what point in our lives do we decide it’s time to start doubting ourselves and caring what others think? I have confidence in many ways but the self-doubt when I branch out or try something new is so real, and most of it boils down to me caring what others are going to think.

Like deciding to join LuLaRoe for example. Oh my. I seriously cried and started to panic when I thought about hitting ‘post’ on my Facebook wall. I was 31 to the day, and I was panicking about what others would think. My fears honestly had nothing to do with my thought of failing, it had everything to do with what others would think. Because I’m a doer. Are you freaking kidding me? I spent a small fortune to start a business, something I’ve never done before, yet wasn’t scared at all about that. Ummm….that makes zero sense.

I know I’m a strong woman. I am certain I am capable of anything I decide I’m going to do once I decide to do it, but you won’t ever see me dancing in public or anything I deem vulnerable because I’m going to worry about what others are thinking. What are they going to say? How will that make me look? OMG, they’re going to think I’m stupid. Yeah…I’m that girl. I hide my insecurities well most days. Probably because my spirit animal is a duck. Ha!

At What Age Does it Start?

The evolution of confidence never really crossed my mind until I had my son. Recently though, I find myself thinking about it even more now that I have a daughter. Not that I think my son will naturally be more confident than my daughter, but because I don’t know what it’s like to grow up as a boy! The biggest reason is I see how strong-willed my little girl is, how she’s happy to wear whatever the hell she wants, and doesn’t care what I think. I love it…most days. But at what age does that blatant disregard for what others think fade away?

I think it’s a gradual change…one that happens with the help of society, but also with your upbringing. Society has instilled a certain level of behavior that’s expected from either sex, and it’s one I’m seeing each of my children begin to already learn at the ripe old ages of nearly 3 and 5. “That’s a girl color.” “Girls don’t do that.” “That’s only for boys.” Mind you, I’ve never said any of those things to my children and neither has my husband. My son went through a very short phase of wanting to wear a headband around the house because I did, so he did. It lasted all of a week but he had to try it out, so he did.

More and more, I’m hearing my sweet little guy say “I hope my friend likes my new shirt” and we always tell him it doesn’t matter what anyone else likes. All that matters is if he likes it! School is not an issue yet, he is involved in gymnastics which there’s no time to talk during, and all of our play dates are with friends and we don’t talk about that stuff. Where are those thoughts coming from? I’ll tell you where – we all want acceptance.

Defining Our Children

Scarlett marches to the beat of her own drum. She doesn’t care at all about anything except that she’s happy. Or not happy…the struggle is real with Scarlett. LOL! The wrath of Scarlett is pretty fierce. Ha! When will she start to doubt herself the way I do? How do I teach her to remain confident in ALL aspects of her life when I’m not outwardly expressing the same?

My son is about to be 5 and right now he wants to be like me and such a lovey boy. We dealt with hurt feelings a few months back when matching leggings came for my daughter and I, and not Xavier. He wants to match me because he wants to be like me. I know that will change but how much of that will happen because that’s what is expected of him socially? We found leggings that were “boyish” to get us a matching pair – and he was beyond excited. He had something special with me and it was just ours.

Xavier recently wanted a new pair of leggings because it had been a little while since he’d gotten any, and he loves wearing them on lazy days around the house or to gymnastics. I told him we didn’t have any boy ones and everything was flowers. His response was “Mommy! I like flowers!” Next thing I know, he is wearing a pair of blue leggings with flowers because he likes flowers! He definitely got to keep those!

How Do We Raise a Confident Child?

Is there a magic answer here? My children will be confident in so many ways, I know this because we strive as parents to instill this on them. My question is how the hell do I teach and encourage them to express themselves however they feel fit when I don’t do that myself? Am I teaching them over time to be more reserved? If that’s their personality, by all means…but not if I’m teaching it. Reserved is a way in which I would describe myself, but was I always reserved?

How do I help keep my free spirited little girl free spirited and confident like the woman in the Starbucks cafe? How do I lovingly encourage my son to step outside of his normally reserved self? I want him to to always try something new and be brave, but how? It’s strange to see two little people that are so incredibly different from each other have so much in common with me, but differently. I love exactly who they are, but if they want to dance in the middle of Starbucks, I hope they feel supported enough by me to do so.

Gah. This parenting crap is hard. I have no answers…just questions. Who has answers? Help a sister out! LOL! I’d love to learn more about your parenting adventures and how you’ve approached raising a confident child. Join me over HERE in my Facebook group!

Potty Training Boys

August 17, 2017 By crystal chapman 1 Comment

The Struggle is Real

I’m struggling guys. Where do we find the balance of letting our children become independent and restricting them for the sake of having to clean less? LOL! I’m especially talking about potty training boys – where’s the balance in that?!

Xavier is nearing 5 and has recently decided it’s time to stand while going potty…let’s be honest though, that harebrained idea came up with Daddy’s help. And I’ll tell you why – Daddy thinks it’s time for him to be a big boy. You know what I think – What a stupid idea! I’m already at max capacity for cleaning the bathroom since this nonsense started 3 weeks ago. I mean, he’s been standing outside since potty training but never inside – why fix what isn’t broken?! I’ll let him go outside all day long to his heart’s content…but inside? Please no. Please make it all stop.

I realize he needs to find his independence and learn to do all those “big boy” things, but does it really have to come with more cleaning for ME?! Yes, my husband cleans, so the household cleaning isn’t fully on me, but he’s yet to be home OR awake during any of these incidences. Coincidence? I think not. Well played, Mr. Chapman. Well played.

Oops…

Want to know my favorite thing to hear from the living room while Xavier’s going potty? “Oops”. I hope you can *feel* the sarcasm because you already know what that means before I even tell you what happened. Urine everywhere. In all the places. I go in to check and he has a corner of a piece of toilet paper that’s not even the size of his hand, and he’s going to start cleaning it. First off, bless his sweet little heart for not wanting to give me a mess, BUT NO! LOL

I’ve cleaned the bathroom toilets and floors more time this week than I have in the last few months, and I clean those things pretty much every other week. So…yeah, not impressed.

The Sleep Walking

Oh, so you didn’t think it could get any better? How about the fact that my child sleepwalks at night? I’ve made a pretty strict rule of him having to sit when it’s nighttime because his sensitive little eyes can’t take the light. The rule is if the light is off, you sit…He has yet to appreciate this rule and continuously tries to negotiate is way out of it. He’s a big boy and all, he can’t backtrack!

So the other night, he was sleep walking, per usual, and I sent him to go potty before getting into my bed. From bed, I turned on my phone to light up the bathroom and waited in bed. Why should I have to fully wake up? It’s not like have to go!

I hear him whimpering and all that jazz, and he finally comes out after the most ridiculous bathroom episode. I get his jimmies all zipped up and he climbs into bed. Well now I’m awake and I have to go! Damn it!

Make it Stop

I turned on the light when I went into the bathroom because I had a bad feeling, and boy was that intuition right. I should have gotten out of bed from the get go. THERE WAS PEE EVERYWHERE. On the floor, on the wall, on the toilet, and almost on my freaking foot!

So my independent big boy was standing to go despite my rule (screw my rules, anyway, right? I mean they’re not in place for any reason except to annoy him), and was pretty much swaying in his sleepy state.

So.Much.Pee. Please tell me, how in the hell do I make this nonsense stop? I’ve heard from others this doesn’t end for a long time and I’m choosing to believe my friends are just being mean. They’re being a bunch of lying liars…right? RIGHT?!

Potty training doesn’t last indefinitely, or does it? Tell me it’s not so! How do you find balance with this whole independence nonsense without breaking spirits or cleaning constantly?? Comment here to let me know your thoughts and approaches on this! Head on over to my group to hangout with me!

5 Reasons to Use a Posting Service with Your Online Business

August 5, 2017 By crystal chapman Leave a Comment

Time Management

Time management is vital for thriving in the business world. How can you make life easier? Building an online party format takes time but it’s time well spent. You do the work one time until it’s time to freshen things up. Once in place, using a posting service will give you back the time necessary to post. Let’s not even start on actually remembering! Working this business in addition to having another job and/or family is difficult. Time management is efficiency and follow through.

All things in life come with a cost, regardless of the task and that’s time or money. When weighing the pros and cons of investing in yourself and your business, you’re saying what’s important to you. What are 5 reasons to use a posting service for your online business – like Vizzlie, CinchShare or Tiny Torch?

5 Reasons to Use a Posting Service

1. Time is Money. Working smarter and not harder will increase your revenue and ease stress.

2. Online party formats typically run the same for each person, which is great. Content needs to be duplicable to help from hitting burnout mode. Consistency causes boredom, but “boring” posts for us are new to customers and need to be seen. Scheduling the content out allows consistency in the process.

3. Selling online has opened all the doors and windows, but with that comes multiple timezones. Understanding the active time in your online community allows for you to be posting when they’re awake even if you’re not. For example, I live in Alaska and have customers all across the country. As a result, posts get scheduled for east coast wake up. Their engagement on posts continues to bump content into the feeds of others as they wake up across the country, until I’m finally awake. Ha!

4. Hostess Coaching is KEY to a successful party. Scheduling out content for a hostess the week leading up to their party with small tasks will help encourage group participation.

5. As a leader, time management is essential. Finding a balance between your business and leading your team is a challenge. Scheduling content in your team pages helps you lead without sucked into the constant private message cycle.

Time is Money

Money is important but more can be made. What time are you burning on silly tasks each month that doesn’t need to be used? I work hard to implement systems to make life more efficient. Business doesn’t have to consume your time. Your life doesn’t have to revolve around your phone, it revolves around what you want it to revolve around. This is something you can MAKE time for if it’s something you want time made for. For me, it has been time and money well spent because my priority is my children and they don’t need my face constantly in my phone.

As a result of using a posting service, you’ll invest an average of $10.00 each month to save yourself time and energy. Life is a balancing act, how are you going to balance your life and business? Don’t forget to follow me HERE so you can share your tips!

7 Tips to Balancing Being Mom and Working From Home

August 5, 2017 By crystal chapman 2 Comments

The WAH/SAH Juggling Act

Finding balance is difficult to find when working from home, or at least it feels that way when you first start out. Your new business is budding and needs all the love and attention it can get, but so are your children – something’s gotta give and you don’t want it to be either!

For me, the realization you pay for everything in either time or money resonated loudly. Talk about a lightbulb moment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a hot mess and have some work to do, but overall, I’m finding it and here’s how!

Here are my 7 Tips to Balancing Being a Mom and Working From Home.

Steps to Balancing

1. Is there a service you can use to do some/all of a requirement for you? For me, this is Shop the Roe and Vizzlie!

2. Childcare – I have someone come to my home 1-2 times a week for about 5-6 hours at a time, and I work uninterrupted. I found all of my sitters on Care.com

3. Set a schedule and stick to it. I typically photograph for an hour or so while my sitter is here. Online parties on Thursday, in home parties on Friday and my weekly VIP on Saturday. Invoicing is done the day of and day after my online sales, and hit the post office on Monday and Friday each week. Stray from the schedule IF time permits! Shop the Box and random outfit sales are great!

4. Have a friend over to help you once a week, or whenever you need it!

5. My kids know if I have it planned to go live, they get to watch a movie – it’s the only time during the day they get to watch it and it typically only happens once a week.

6. Sometimes you just have to push all of that aside and just play with your kiddos – All of that nonsense will still be there when you’re finished playing.

7. Be kind to yourself and allow for your process to steadily evolve. Your kiddos love you and you love your kiddos, an hour here or there of them not getting your undivided attention will not kill them.

It’s That Easy?

Ha! Wouldn’t that be nice?! It’s all a process – just roll with it and have fun! If you ever stop having fun, step back and take a look at the situation. What can you change? There’s always a solution, you just have to keep an open mind and look for it.

Don’t forget to follow me HERE to keep up with my ever changing schedule, as life of mom and business owner is one that’s constantly evolving!

My Life as a Duck

August 5, 2017 By crystal chapman 1 Comment

I’m a Duck

I was discussing branding with my TEAM recently and I revealed to them my spirit animal is a duck. They all laughed at me because who on earth picks a duck when there are so many cool animals out there, but it’s so true! I do wish I related to something far more gracious, beautiful or strong, but no, I’m a duck. I’m a duck and I’m owning it.

Have you ever noticed how serene a duck appears above water? They’re graceful and calm. Under that water though, they’re moving their feet like crazy to tread water and stay afloat. This is my life as a duck. My outer shell is a serene duck and my brain are those crazy ass feet. Ha!

Things Are Not Aways What They Appear

I’m the go-to person. The doer. The listener. The problem-solver. A voice of reason. It never seems to matter what the topic is or how long I’ve known the person, I’m always sought out. That’s not a bad thing at all and I love helping others – I’m a hardcore humanist and helping others is what fuels my soul. But sometimes this duck needs help, too.

People come to me because they think I have my shit together…if they only knew! I’m a damn hot mess! My mind is constantly racing, I get so lost in thought about all the things I need to do that sometimes I spend countless hours awake, only for those lists leave me feeling so overwhelmed I opt to do nothing instead.

Owning My Duck Status

I know this about myself and it’s something I work on daily, and I’m more vocal about, but it has taken a lot of self-reflection, work and even more courage to admit it.

I feel like motherhood has brought this out of me so much more even though I’ve always been this way. We as mothers feel we need to take on the world and are inadequate if we need help. That we’re failing by voicing our needs – what a stupid mindset!

I choose to celebrate this about myself instead of hiding it. I’m not out judging other moms and women because I know there is no right way of doing things, and I work hard to remind those close to me of that as well – I tell everyone to be kind to themselves daily, yet here I am being my biggest critic. It’s gotta stop. We need to be kind to ourselves just as much as we need to be kind to others – probably more, if I’m being honest. You can only give so much when your own bucket is empty.

What’s your spirit animal? Find me on Facebook and let me know!

Letting Go of The Mom Guilt

August 5, 2017 By crystal chapman 5 Comments

We Do it To Ourselves

Mom guilt is real and it sucks! I am by far my biggest critic and I’m quite certain most mothers can relate. So you know what I did? I let it go. Sure, it rears it’s ugly head from time to time, but that’s okay because I don’t let it dominate me anymore.

Learning how to push those thoughts aside is difficult, but with practice we can all accomplish it. Making it a common practice of letting go of the mom guilt has had the greatest of impacts on my mental health.

If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy

We all love our children. The constant self-doubt we feel over the job we’re doing is proof of that. It’s okay to take care of #1 because nobody else is going to benefit from an unhappy and unsatisfied mama. Being selfish about time alone to do things you want to do is not selfish, it’s necessary. It’s vital. Stress is higher in a home where time isn’t allotted to decompress, and our children are soaking in those negative vibes.

Too much time is spent worrying about what *should* be done and feeling guilt from what didn’t happen. Why? In time, I’ve realized I get less and less productive the longer it’s been since my last time away. We get burnt out and it’s justifiable. This gig is HARD. Internally, I struggled a lot during the postpartum time after each child, and it sucks I kept it to myself.

Not Everything is About Mama

Here’s the other half to that though – our partner needs that time as well. They need time away to do things to help hang onto who we are just as much as we do. I don’t know how it is for you, but for me, I tend to advocate for my husband to have the time he needs to be a better father and husband…but then I get bitter about it because I haven’t spoken up for myself. He would never tell me no, just as I would never tell him no, yet I sit quietly waiting for him to say something like “I think you should go for the day.” Umm, how stupid is that?

Table For One

I’ve realized I don’t need to have plans made with a friend or to do something in order to have time away. I like going to have coffee all by myself while it’s quiet and still hot! Thai food alone is also high on the list because I don’t have to share my freaking Thai Iced Tea with all the world. I enjoy walking around the bookstore even though I have virtually zero time to actually read and use audiobooks instead.

So this is me giving you permission to let go of the mom guilt as well. You’re a damn good mama, now go reward yourself for that. Do something that makes you smile and don’t feel guilty about it – you deserve it.

Find me on Facebook and tell me what your favorite way to decompress is.

Postpartum Life – Is this normal?

August 5, 2017 By crystal chapman 2 Comments

Is This Normal?

I told you recently how my spirit animal is a duck, but I’ve done some tremendous self-reflection since realizing this. I’ve always known I was this way but never equated it to being a duck until I was 32. That’s kind of nuts in retrospect.

I’m a mother of two young children, ages two and four, and life is busy. Being a mom is hard. Absolutely amazing, but so damn hard. That transition from no children, to one child, to two children, and then trying to figure out who the hell I was along the way has been a struggle! Like all moms, I let myself go in some ways because I was treading water and working as hard as possible to give everything I could to my babies, and stay afloat while doing so. I neglected myself along the way and that has been pretty damaging, if I’m being honest.

I guess I assumed my postpartum life was the new normal.

An Eye-Opening Revelation

My sister is someone I talk to often about life in general and I’m often her sounding board. Don’t get me wrong, I vent to her as well, but there are things I hadn’t even told myself yet…if that makes sense. I recently found the courage to tell her I’ve been feeling pretty shitty and it’s been for quite a long time now. I’m a happy person, I love to laugh, I enjoy being around people, but I’ve been in a funk and some of that has been far more forced than it should be.

Like I said, I talk to my sister about everything, and you know what? She had no idea. She wishes I had told her sooner but I hadn’t even admitted it to myself until recently, so I couldn’t have. We don’t live local to each other and if there were signs to see, she wouldn’t have seen them anyway. I’ve helped countless friends and family through hard times with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety (PPD/PPA), yet I wasn’t seeing the signs in myself. Nobody else was seeing them either because I was hiding it so well. I had it hidden so well that even I didn’t realize it – ummm, hello?…that’s a problem!

Where Do I Go From Here?

So what am I doing to address this? Well, I’m being more honest about it for starters. My anxiety about certain things is NOT normal but thankfully my husband accepts them for what they are and doesn’t pushback about it. We have a creek in our backyard that I refuse to take my children down to without him because water is such a huge trigger for me. Our creek isn’t deep…My kids can stand in and it goes to their mid calves…but nope. No water. Car seats? Oh boy, that’s a biggie. Letting my kids sleep in their own beds when my husband isn’t home for the evening – not going to happen.

But you know what? All of this is fixable. I’ve spent so much of my time being selfless that I’ve neglected myself. It’s been hard but I’m starting to make sure I have time away without my family, and I don’t allow myself to feel guilty about it anymore. My bucket has been low in terms of self-care, and you can’t give what you don’t have, so I’m making the change and taking care of me.

Is this something you relate to? If so, find me on Facebook because I’d love to connect with you!